The TV Wisdom of Rhoda's "Marty Morgenstern"

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BY JENNIFER SILVERMAN

My canine companion, Petunia and I, were recently paid a wonderful visit by my mother. Alas, her stay flew by far too quickly as vacays typically do, and both of us were very sad to see her go.

Petunia coped with her melancholia by planting herself at the front door and barking at any canine or human who had the chutzpah to stroll by.

I opted to drown my sorrows in classic TV. At the top of my classic TV show playlist was the incomparable Valerie Harper sitcom, Rhoda.

Fortunately, I stumbled across a Rhoda episode I somehow missed in previous binges.

In this particular Rhoda TV installment circa 1977, Rhoda and her shy sister, Brenda were dreading the schlep from Manhattan to the Bronx for weekly dinner with their parents. The sisters confided in one another that they struggled to find topics with which to converse with their folks.

Unbeknownst to the sisters, parents Ida and Martin Morgenstern also found dinner table conversation with their daughters to be a challenge.

During dinner, the lack of talking points eventually became obvious.

Wary of her forthcoming silence-induced discomfort, Rhoda spilled the beans that the two pairs were pretty much from different planets and had nothing to discuss.

After that fuchsia elephant in the room was released into the wild, (or rather the Morgenstern’s spotless apartment) conversation miraculously flowed.

Rhoda went on to inquire about each person’s dreams.

She admitted that one of her deeply held desires was to truly enjoy her own company.

The self-conscious and always dieting, Brenda confided that her dream was to punch Farrah Fawcett.

Their feisty mother, Ida fantasized about performing a dance routine with Fred Astaire.

Their father, Martin’s response was by far my favorite. His dream was that in the future, if someone were to bring up his name, the unanimous reaction would be,

“That Marty Morgenstern, he sure was a nice guy.”

My initial response to Martin’s statement was, “well that sounds nice.”

It’s funny -- even though I’ve always embraced my quirks, I’ve spent a lot of time over the years trying to embody whatever a situation called for in an attempt to be perpetually appropriate.

As a teen model, I tried to do as I was taught and have no opinion. However, every demure ounce of me cringed when I was booked to walk the runway clad in a leather crop top and matching mini skirt.

I tried to be a composed college coed, yet I managed to burst into tears when meeting my forever favorite, Whoopi Goldberg.

I tried to be a tough-skinned New Yorker, but I worried desperately about those poor pigeons in the snow.

That being said, Marty Morgenstern’s dream really resonates with me.

These days, instead of trying to be appropriate, I think I’d much rather simply be nice. All that other stuff doesn’t really seem to matter much anymore.

In retrospect, I’d advise the younger me to be who I genuinely was, rather than whoever I thought I should be in the moment.

As I think back, I actually wasn’t wrong.

An ensemble of cropped all-leather coordinates is a definite fashion don’t.

Someone should do something for those helpless pigeons in Winter.

And, I’m glad I burst into tears at the sight of Whoopi Goldberg. Holding that sobbing inside would have surely resulted in spontaneous combustion. Plus, I think it made her day.

So, the next time my sense of decorum attempts to levy an internal takeover, I’ll remember Rhoda's dad, Marty Morgenstern, and his desire to above all, simply be nice.

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