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Writer's pictureThe Curious Columnist

THE Dapper Dating Tip for Women: Dating is Like Shoe Shopping.

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BY JENNIFER SILVERMAN


I have a bad habit.


I tend to compare everything in life to shoes. "Why?" you may ask.


Well, I adore shoes and, in my case, shoes never fail to spark joy.


Alas, there is plenty in life I have yet to truly comprehend, but just like Carrie Bradshaw, "Shoes, I know."


I assumed my lifelong devotion to overarching (pun intended) shoe analogies was an unusual quirk of yours truly.


You can imagine my delight when a non-shoe-obsessed pal casually uttered, "dating is like shoe shopping."


The conversation that ensued was right up my alley and the inspo for this rather stylish (If I do say so myself) quintessential dating tip for women blog post:


SPECIAL OCCASSION SHOES =

THE PLACEHOLDER DATE


Embellished special occasion shoes peeking out from ballgown equal the “placeholder date.”

Special occasion shoes are lovely pieces of art - created for swooning.


We enjoy wearing formal, sparkly shoes to the infrequent celebration but can only tolerate them for so long.


Inevitably, we part ways sooner rather than later.


Often times the more beautiful the shoe, the less practical it tends to be.


I imagine the special occasion shoe personified in the wedding date plus-one who looks great in a tux, is quite the dancer, and is the perfect complement to our festive ensembles.


The problem is, these special occasion guys seldom fit into our real world.


They don't seem to belong in our day-to-day existence. They're as out of place as formalwear on the subway.


COMFORT SHOES = THE "GOOD ENOUGH" GUY


Comfy, unassuming, boring clogs equal the “good enough guy.”

Then of course, some shoes are just the opposite.


As soon as you slip them on, they feel like a dream - so comfortable you'd gladly wear them for the rest of your life - well at least the rest of your life when you're home alone.


They're the equivalent of the world's most cozy slipper.


Sometimes though, what we find most comfortable in life is the last thing we truly need.


These safe shoe styles wrap us in the warmth of the familiar, but if we allow ourselves to commit to them for a lifetime, will we ever evolve or push ourselves out of our comfort zones?

Locker full of love from a high school sweetheart who is seldom a “mate” for life because we often outgrow him.

Maybe the comfy, unassuming shoes of the world prevent us from taking risks or trying new things.

Perhaps the safe, not too risky shoes in our closets keep us complacent.


These sensible shoes are embodied in the high-school sweetheart. He seemed nice way back when and checked our adolescent boxes, but unfortunately, we've likely outgrown him.


If we settle for close enough, will we ever be wowed?


THE DAPPER DATING TIP FOR WOMEN?

CLASSIC, FAVORITE-FOR-A-DECADE SHOES =

THE RIGHT FIT


Polished equestrian woman on horseback sporting timeless, chic riding boots, which equal a guy who is just the right fit for life.

I don't know about you, but I do own a pair of shoes that have stood the test of time.


Of course, the right fit is different for everyone.


My forever shoes are Burberry riding boots I purchased around 2010.


They are still my go-to Fall/Winter shoes. (When I spotted them from across the room at the Burberry shop in Soho, I knew it was love at first sight. So, I purchased them in ebony and mocha.)


My Burberry riding boots somehow complement the bulk of my wardrobe and as soon as I don them, I feel like my authentic self.


There is nothing trendy about my favorite riding boots. They would have been posh riding horseback a century ago and still evoke a timeless, polished aesthetic.


That's the thing about truly classic investment pieces - they never go out of style.

 
Shelves of gorgeous, colorful, designer high heels

All in all, if you know your way around Madison Avenue or a mall, you can easily ace dating - you've already mastered the art of shopping around.


You know that "Mr. Right Now" won't be in your closet forever, and you won't be seen with "Mr. Wrong" for long.


Plus, good taste is not limited to solely shoes - the skills of style are always transferable. (Get it? Soles...Shoes.)


So, just maybe there is a match out there for us all.


At present, I have yet to encounter the human equivalent of my loyal Burberry riding boots, but I do believe in the fashion gods.


Afterall, shoes come in pairs for a reason, right? (Yes, obviously there's also the whole we have two feet thing.)


But, since dating is like shoe shopping, it goes to reason that there may be a perfect mate waiting for each of us on a shoe rack somewhere.


 

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